It was exactly 2 years ago when my whole life changed.
2 years ago Yesterday— around 5:30 pm, We (Me and my husband) we’re having our weekly Maternity Check-up. I asked him to file a leave since I was feeling different. Different in a way that my contractions were continuous but in my case it has 20-30 minutes interval. They say that when it is your time contractions should be felt within 2-3 minutes. So I’m not yet panicking, and my water is still intact. Pain was tolerable at the moment. We didn’t bring our bags yet, funny right?
We fall in line and waited for our turn. Excitement and nervousness was filling me inside. Doctor checked me and told me I was already 4 cm open. She told me to get myself confined because any moment we can finally see our little Blip.
We went to the Delivery Room, I changed from clothes to a hospital gown. I still didn’t know how to feel. My husband was way more nervous than I was. He didn’t even kiss me goodbye when he left! HAHAHAHA
I was worried because he was alone and I know how he is when in this kind of situation, believe me even though he is from a medical field he still gets very nervous when it comes to his family.
I still remember all the memories I have inside the Delivery room. I’m not scared YET. I was praying. Praying for my baby and me.
Around 8 or 9 pm my Doctor visited me and told me that my husband already has a room for us. She was very kind. SUPER!
There were 6 beds inside, but only 2 patients— me and another one in front of me. Around 11 pm She was shouting, “aaaaaaaaah aray ayoko naaaa”. It made me scared. I didn’t want to look at her. She kept on shouting even though the nurses were telling her not to. She shouted louder this time, “AYAN NAAAAAAA! LALABAS NAAAA!!”. And then she’s gone to somewhere.
God knows how scared I am. But I tried to calm myself, and I did. They were giving me medications that put me to sleep so I wont feel any pain. I woke up from time to time. I woke up I didn’t know what time that was but this was the worst ever!
My Doctor was there, She said “hindi na kita papatulugin ha? sorry Carla”. And from that time I can feel everything! My tummy feels like it was being burnt! I was holding the bed railings with all my might. I kept on telling myself that “i can do this, for baby.” My doctor kept on saying, “sorry”. That’s how kind she is.
She checked on me from time to time. The burning sensation I feel inside me was getting too much. I wanted to cry— I think I was already crying. HAHAHA Can’t remember though. HAHAHA I also felt my Doctor broke my water. It hurt and it made a funny sound.
She asked me if I can try to PUSH the baby. And I did. She told me to hold on because my baby is coming out already. A nurse asked me to bend so that they will be able to inject the anesthesia. I told him, ” I can’t it hurts!! I can’t sorry!” and with that, they were the ones who gave effort in bending me, he pulled me in a hug that shifted me til I was lying on my side in a slightly curled position. (As I remember).
Then I was brought to another room and there I saw my husband. Dra. Chua asked me to PUSH. I did. Twice. Yes! 2 long PUSH and I heard a loud cry. I was able to deliver our Bundle of Joy.
Thank you Lord. He was then put in my chest, I cried. It was the most amazing feeling!! every pain was all worth it. All I can feel was happiness. in my chest lies a baby, my baby. It was the most surreal moment of my life.
September 14, 2015, 9:02 am. Welcome to the World Jan Carlisle.
Jan : gift from God
Carlisle : from the protected tower
Parenting is something you cannot prepare for. It’s not easy to become a Mother. It never was.
Multitasking will be something that becomes natural. You can never take enough photos. I swear!
I’ve learned so many important life lessons from my son and I am still learning. My kid taught me that, ultimately, I wasn’t self-aware at all. I had so much to learn.
He’s taught me what is means to love unconditionally. There’s nothing my child could do that would make me love him less.
He’s taught me to savor the good moments — even when there are very few. When you’re delirious from sleep deprivation, when you’re tired with all the things that are happening around you and when you’re stressed, it can be hard. But even in the midst of this, there may be a moment: a sweet smile, a quick cuddle or a brief look of adoration on your child’s face. Enjoy those moments.
He’s taught me selflessness. He’s shown me what it means to give your whole self to another — not to make yourself feel good, look good or for others to notice — but solely for the happiness of that person.
He’s taught me to stop rushing moments — when I can. When I lay at night I often think about all the other things I could be doing. But when I take a few deep breaths and really take in the moment — to breathe in the smell of his hair, to feel his warm little legs all wrapped up in mine, to listen to the rhythmic sound of his breathing after he falls asleep — I realize there is really no other place I want to be.
He taught me that I was a person worth saving. He showed me that I am important in this world because I am important to him. I’ve always called him my lifesaver, and one day, I hope he realizes that I truly mean it. He needed me to take care of myself so that I could take care of him. He has taught me all of these things without saying a single word.
He made me a better person.
I’ve learned and I am still learning.
I love you, Jan Carlisle! Mama and Papa will always be here for you.
XOXO,
Mrs. D 💋
#Proudmother
Thoughts of Mrs D. 💋 